Growing up, I never belonged. But even though I got bullied and often felt lonely, deep down inside I already knew: forget fitting in, I was born to stand out! So, I proudly wore my make-up and heels to school and played by myself; an outcast in the courtyard. Let them call me a ‘freak’ and a ‘weirdo’; I entertained myself by fantasizing what my life would be like once I was free. One thing was for sure: I was going to be legendary. And it would happen by nurturing exactly that which made me stand out.

But how and when to break free? My life as a working-class girl in the South of Holland was planned out for me by my parents and society: go to vocational school, learn how to make a ‘vlaflip’*, become a housewife. I was well ahead on that path – I still know how to make an awesome vlaflip! – but one day, my entire body and being just said ‘NO!’. That was it. The moment had come to reinvent my future, to officially fly my freak flag. I signed up for evening classes so I could apply for art school, and never looked back.

I always thought pirates were a bit silly. The eyepatch, the wooden leg, the parrot on the shoulder. And how about that ridiculous obsession with the hidden treasure? But in the library one night, looking something up for an art class, I chanced upon a paper about one of the fiercest female pirates of all time: Mary Read. Not only was she living in the same town as me when she decided to change her life (Breda); like me, she also never fit in, and proudly stood out. Mary reinvented her future by leaving for the Caribbean to become a pirate. Sometimes dressed as a man, sometimes shamelessly showing her breasts, Mary sailed the seas with her lover Anne Bonny, becoming legends of the Golden Age of Piracy together. More badass than Blackbeard, they created their own society of outcasts, free from patriarchal rules and gender roles.

Pirates didn’t just break the rules, they remade them. Why does lingerie have to be frilly and lacy, I asked myself when I became a designer. To please men? Arrg! (Although I doubt that pirates really said that). I ditched all the patriarchal design rules and created a radically new paradigm: lingerie for women, by women. I raised my feminist flag started empowering women all over the world. Through my brand, my books and the unapologetic ‘pirate’ way I lived my life.

And here we are. Believe me, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing. Refusing to conform, I’ve landed in hot waters many times, both in love and in business (not to mention in matters of reputation). But I’ve learned one thing: being a pirate is NOT about living a life of comfort. It’s about entering a storm, trusting that even though you cannot direct the wind, you can always adjust your sails. And it’s about tirelessly looking for the same hidden treasure as our swashbuckling sisters have been throughout the centuries: freedom. The freedom to create your own future, the freedom to only follow your own rules. And have a bloody blast while doing so. Arrg!

* A Dutch layered dessert pudding