Why woman grow

Why woman grow

by Marlies Dekkers

'Why women grow' by Alice Vincent is a magical book. Reading the British gardener and writer's inspiring stories of soil, sisterhood and surviving enabled me to plug into an amazing community of gardening women, without ever having to leave my own garden. But the strongest connection I felt was with the writer herself. Like Alice, I am a self-taught urban gardener who didn't grow up gardening (even though we both had grandmothers who loved botany). And like Alice, I've learned since then that we grow through growing things. Time to have a heart-to-heart with my 'soil sister'.

Marlies: Alice, thank you so much for writing your wonderful book 'Why women grow'. A life changer for sure! I would like to start with the same question that you asked nearly 50 women for your book: what drew you to gardening?

Alice: Thanks so much for your kind words! It’s a good question: I started this project because I felt I wasn’t able to give an answer to it myself. There’s a pragmatic answer: I moved to a flat with a balcony, I wanted to grow herbs, gardening grounded me at a time when other parts of my life (my relationship, my career, my home) were falling apart. But that deeper pull - what kept me growing - remained a mystery. For a long time, I thought it was in my bones and my lineage - my grandfathers gardened when I was small. But in the process of writing this book I realized that I come from a long heritage of women who gardened whose work I had overlooked. I’m still figuring out what my own personal reasons for gardening are, ironically. I think I do it as a creative outlet, for physical satisfaction, to slow myself down and for beauty.

Marlies: In your book, you compare gardening with motherhood, calling them both 'wild messy acts of creation'. Since then, you've become a mother yourself. Congratulations! How would you describe the current state of you mind... and your garden?

Alice: Ha! Well, my child will be five weeks old tomorrow. I found the whole process of pregnancy, labor and parenting (so far, it is extremely early days!) ones of curiosity and fascination. My body endlessly surprised - and continues to surprise - me. Sometimes my mind is wholly incapable of focusing on anything other than the immediate present, which for someone who likes to plan to feel calm is quite interesting. Other times I find myself capable of deep creative thought but with no real time or outlet for it. In those first newborn days I remember telling a friend that I felt deeply unqualified and wildly capable at the same time. I think that’s still the case most days. As for the garden, well, that’s interesting too - I have been planning a re-design and landscape of the garden for the past year, but due to reasons beyond our control we weren’t able to begin until this spring. I’d wanted it to be done by the time the baby arrived; instead, work began two weeks after he did. I’ve spent the past couple of weeks watching the garden I’ve worked on for two years be dug up and transformed; a clean slate ready for a new season of planting. That feels a bit like new motherhood - raw, vulnerable, filled with potential.

Marlies: Can you tell us about some of the ways that gardening is an act of feminism for you?

Alice: Everyone I spoke to had different reasons for gardening, but two threads connected all of them: space, and control. As women we are endlessly challenged in having both in society: we are constantly told to take up less space, and constantly having to fight for agency. For me, the act of making a garden - whether that’s a window box, or a community garden, or an allotment plot, or a sprawling private estate - is one where we can control how we commune with the land and make space for ourselves. That’s a deeply feminist act for me.

Marlies: You say that through gardening, women can cultivate a 'superpower'. How does that work?

Alice: Kind of as described above. But there is something fantastic in being able to create, cultivate and make a space as we want it in cohesion with the earth.

Marlies: Your memoir-cum-botanical guide 'Rootbound - Rewilding a Life', has been called the millennials’ answer to Eat Pray Love." Why do you think gardening is so 'hot' right now amongst young women? Any feedback you could share with us from women whose lives changed after reading your book?

Alice: Oh, I’ve been so fortunate to hear from readers who have taken something from my work. People have said they’ve found it comforting while undergoing fertility treatment, heartbreak, grief and recovery, and that is something I still feel very fortunate and slightly overwhelmed to have experienced, in all honesty! I think if the process of 'Why Women Grow' has taught me anything it’s that gardening has always meant something to young women, but we’ve only felt comfortable to elevate it into something we talk and broadcast about at certain times. Now happens to be one of them.

Marlies: I love the fact that had your grandfather's overalls taken in so you can wear them when you garden! Any other gardening quirks or rituals, like lucky tools or special shoes?

Alice:I still use his watering can and I’m very precious over my Niwaki secateurs, which were a 30th birthday present from my brother. Shoes - ha, I usually wear a pair of very ugly hand-me-down grey crocs. I ended up washing them and wearing them on the labor ward, too!

Marlies:Can you tell us a bit about your podcast - so perfect to listen to while gardening! - and your twice-weekly newsletter?

Alice: Thank you! After writing the book I felt there were still so many conversations about women and growing. Writing down a chat with someone is one thing, hearing it is another. In the book, the interview subjects are anonymized to a certain extent due to the intimacy of their stories, so I wanted to approach women who were known for certain things - cooking, perhaps, or design - and give them space to discuss their relationship with the land. It’s been amazing to see people resonate with it so much.

Marlies: And last but not least: why is gardening so important for women, now, more than ever?

Alice: We have more equity than our mothers and grandmothers, but we are still fighting for space, time, visibility and agency. Our reproductive rights are being challenged internationally. Connecting with the earth has never felt more urgent.

Marlies: Thank you so much, Alice. Let's keep growing together.

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