Celebrating a milestone like a 30-year anniversary is the perfect moment to reflect back, look forward and party like it’s 1999 – or 1995, in my case. How fitting that in the run-up to my own celebrations, my life and art became the subject of a powerful performance in a party-like setting (a church converted into a 90s club for the night). In a dramatic monologue, Dewi Reijs played me so skillfully that I felt like seeing my life flash before my eyes at times! I sat down with the multi-talented actress to find out how she pulled it off.

Marlies: A different hair color, a different generation; we’re not exactly identical twins, Dewi.

Dewi: (Laughs) Not quite!

Marlies: Yet there were so many moments during the performance that I felt like I was watching myself. How did you manage to become me?

Dewi: First of all, I had an amazing script to work with. You are a storyteller, selling philosophy disguised as lingerie, and that was obviously very inspiring to writer Gershwin (Bonevacia, former poet laureate of Amsterdam, ed.), who is a philosopher at heart himself. The result was such a beautiful, multi-layered text! As an actress, whether I’m casted traditionally or not, I always focus on finding emotional common ground. For example, even though we work in very different areas, I immediately recognized a drive and ambition in you. Using my own fire, I was able to interpret that side of you.

Marlies: It was amazing to see my boldness embodied by you. You opened the show with my manifest about our vaginas’ scent – the importance of being familiar with it, of falling in love with it – and when I saw you squatting on stage, totally unashamed, I thought: wow, am I really that bold? I also noticed how shocked some of the audience members were when you asked them how their vaginas smelled.

Dewi: One lady was like: I’m outa here!

Marlies: (laughs) Exactly! I always say that it’s not my intention to shock, but apparently I do. For example, when I designed my ‘Bare Bottom Dress’ as a radically new expression of female sexuality, I needed to feel its effect, so I walked around the red-light district in it. That’s the way I do things; fully committed to taking my theories to the extreme, often barely noticing people’s reactions. But your performance allowed me a spectator’s view, and that was incredibly enlightening.

Dewi:It’s another thing we have in common: we are not afraid. When I want to do something, I couldn’t care less what people think. I’ll figure it out as I go. Recently, after deciding to direct my own movie, I found myself on set, surrounded by 60 people. For a split second I thought: okay, what now? But I just took a deep breath and jumped in. Sure, there was a chance that I would embarrass myself. But that’s not exactly the end of the world, is it?

Marlies: Lived experience is priceless. And overcoming embarrassment is an important part of it. That’s why my motto is ‘dare to dream, dare to grow, dare to be’. So what if you fall? You pick yourself up and carry on, wiser and stronger than before.

Dewi: I agree. You know, I feel so blessed I got to play you at this point in my life. At 39, I am ready to expand and explore all my different talents. Besides acting, I am writing, directing and producing. I am the director and founding member of the Buddy Film Foundation, a platform and stepping stone for refugee filmmakers and creatives. I’m a mother of two daughters. I want it all, but I want to do it my way, incorporating my femininity, just like you have done. You are such an inspiration to me and my generation.

Marlies: I love hearing that! It was very different for me; I didn’t really have any role models. I used to be called a bitch a lot, and that was before ‘boss bitch’ became a badge of honor. New employees would be asked by their family and friends: Is Marlies really as bitchy as she seems?

Dewi: Wow, that’s definitely not the impression I ever got from you! It must be a prejudice held against women owning their power. Gershwin’s script does a great job of going against that, showing all these different sides of you, some of them quite fragile even.

Marlies:Yes, Gershwin gave me such a gift with that. To explore the source of my drive he went all the way back to my childhood. Seeing you talk on stage about having to leave the security of my home and working class environment to follow my dreams really laid bare the inner conflict caused by the sacrifices I’ve had to made to succeed. I could almost touch my pain. Largely thanks to your delicate acting, it became a very healing experience for me.

Dewi:It was actually quite healing for me too. I think a lot of women can relate to feeling torn between their ambitions and the world’s expectations of them. Sharing that load makes it a lot lighter, doesn’t it?

Marlies: Yes, that’s why sisterhoods are so important. To support and applaud each other, so we can be a stepping stone for the next generation. To light each other’s fires, like you and I have done through this project.

Dewi: Yes, we may still look very different, but I now carry a piece of you in me.

Marlies: A wonderful thought. Thank you, Dewi.

www.dewireijs.nl