Happy Singles Day – You’ve got this!

Happy Singles Day – You’ve got this!

by marlies|dekkers

All the single ladies, listen up! With single women rapidly becoming the majority, it is high time to stop feeling singled out. This Singles Day, let’s celebrate our freedom and independence by sharing all those solo milestones that make us go: ‘You’ve got this!’.

Is there anything more romantic than going on a sensual African safari together? Actually, yes: going alone! A few years ago, tired of waiting for a dream lover to take me on a wildlife adventure, I took myself. Watching the sun set over the savannah like a bright red fire ball, casting silhouettes of grazing elephants, I felt like coming home to myself. And I realized: you don’t need a lover to feel this sensual and alive. Don’t ever put your pleasures on hold.

“Look at yourself the way a lover would, and dare to fall in love with yourself”. I’ve been saying that for years, and now I would like to add: “Dare to treat yourself the way a dream lover would.” No holds barred; think of a totally besotted lover! To give you an example: even when I’m super busy, I never resort to junk food (with the exception of an occasional ‘frikandel speciaal’* of course). Instead, I seduce myself with gorgeous, healthy food that nourishes my body and soul. The type of food that would make me drag the chef straight to bed afterwards, except the chef is me! Or how about my friend who fell in love with a pair of shiny thigh-high boots that she described as ‘pure sex’? She gifted them to herself even though she had nowhere to go in them and no lover to show them to. “Gotta keep my juices flowing,” she told me with a radiant smile.

I love this era for women. I love that we’re embracing our careers and learning to take care of ourselves first before we jump into relationships. I love how we’re dismantling the stigma that has surrounded female singlehood for so long. Recently, the world was put on hold several times, and so were many women’s (love) lives. But you didn’t put yourselves on hold! And I have hard proof of that: you kept buying my lingerie. Not only my more ‘practical’ designs; no, there were plenty of sexy Spider bras and colorful Couture pieces. Sensual treats for women who felt ‘they were worth it’. Lockdown or not, single or not. I can’t tell you how happy it made me to see that you put your pleasures first, like a great lover would. (A lover who knows exactly all your sizes, how convenient is that?). Whether it’s a solo safari, a pair of ‘sex boots’ or a sumptuous meal; we don’t wait around for a partner to nurture our desires and satisfy our soul.

So, this Singles Day, let’s make it official. Let’s treat ourselves the way only a dream lover would. And you’ll see, with enough self-love, solo challenges become solo milestones. The final, empowering steps towards true freedom. Happy Singles Day! You’ve got this!

* A typically Dutch, deep-fried snack

 

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by marlies|dekkers

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