Teuta of Illyria – ‘Teuta the Untamable’
Part history, part legend, 100% badass; living over 2 millennia ago, Pirate Queen Teuta of the Illyrians is still a feminist symbol of hardcore bravery.
The ancient Illyrians, like the Spartans, encouraged their women in the arts of war and fighting skills. Married to King Agron, Teuta may have been a queen, but she was a ferocious warrior above all: aggressive and hotheaded, with a strong sense of justice. Her husband loved conquering, mostly by land. After Agron passed away in 231 BC Teuta took over the throne. Hell-bent on conquering also by sea, she immediately turned Illyria’s navy into a fleet of pirates by giving all her ships permission to attack ships from any other city-state (even the ones she was at peace with). Which all went swimmingly, until Teuta pissed off that growing superpower on the other side of the Adriatic Sea: the Roman Republic.
In 229 BC Rome sent two ambassadors to put an end to Teuta’s piracy. The queen, who was busy managing the Siege of Issa and in no mood to be patronized, told the ambassadors that “it was contrary to the custom of the Illyrian kings to interfere with the practice and doings of our subjects”. In other words: ‘mind your own damn business’. When one enraged ambassador replied that she was “no more fit to rule a nation than the ox who bedded her mother,” she had his head cut off and sent back to Rome in a basket with the message that “only excellent fruit is be had in Illyria, please accept our rejects.” Within weeks, 200 Roman ships with 20.000 legionnaires were on their way to destroy Teuta and her pirate empire.
Teuta fought ferociously for two years. She would personally lead her fleet into the heat of the sea battle, slashing her lethal sword, her golden armor shining in the sun. ‘Daughter of Ares’ they called her, and she was often compared to warrior goddess Athena. After several setbacks and devastating betrayals however, Teuta was forced to withdraw to Durrës. There, trapped and surrounded by hundreds of Roman soldiers, she climbed to the very tip of a cliff. Rather than surrender, the Pirate Queen of Illyria jumped.
As a national heroine of Albania, Teuta lives on, her portrait appearing on their money, many girls still being named after her. Granted, she took on the Roman Empire and lost, but you know what? The Pirate Queen of the Classical Age went out in a blaze of glory, untamable until the very last moment.
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