The worst boob-bloopers on the beach (and my solutions!)
Do you recognize any of these classic bikini #FAILS? Don’t worry! Because my swimwear comes in actual cup sizes -rather than just small, medium, large- I have a very specific solution for each problem (call it bikini-science). You’ve got this!
1. The ‘Quadraboob’
Wow, you’ve got 4 boobs! Oh no wait, it’s 2 boobs, spilling over your cup (straight into your ice cream cone).
Solution: Since your cup literally ‘runneth over’, you should try a bigger cup size. For example, 80E instead of 80D.
2. The ‘High Rider’
The back of your bikini top is riding up. Which is a bummer, especially when you’re riding the waves!
Solution: The problem is that the underbust is too wide. Try a bikini top with a smaller under bust size. For example: 70E instead of 75D.
3. The ‘Side boob’
The wires in the side of your cup are sitting on your boob rather than your rib cage, creating spillage on the sides.
Solution: If the problem is in the underwire, the problem is in the cup; the two are connected. Definitely try a bigger cup size: 85E instead of 85D for example.
4. The ‘Super Drooper’
Oh no! Your boobs look sad and lonely in a bikini top that doesn’t seem to offer any support.
Solution: Check your shoulder straps, you might need to make them tighter. The same goes for your underbust; is it too wide? Then again, the problem might be in the type of cups; for proper support I suggest good quality molded cups. Like the ones I developed for my brand! Just saying…
5. Boobs in space
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s your boobs, ﬂoating in space because the underwire of your bikini top is not touching your ribcage.
Solution: First, the obvious: are your shoulder straps too tight? Loosen them a little to see what happens. Then, bend forward till your boobs fall into the cups, and shake while you hold the underwire firmly (doesn’t that feel good?). Still no luck? Try a bigger cup, for example 70B instead of 70A.
I AM A FEMINIST.
You know I’m a self-made woman who has made it my purpose to challenge women to dare. It’s an achievement I am immensely proud of, and for that reason, I am equally proud to label myself a feminist. But looking back more than a hundred years, I’m even prouder of the progress women have made together.
FEARLESS ﬂy GIRL
Niatia (pronounce: ‘naah-tee-yah), also known by her stage name Lil Mama (28), is a fearless rapper, singer, dancer and actress from Brooklyn, New York. Her breakout hit ‘Lip Gloss’ came out in 2007, and since then she has been a celebrity judge on America’s Best Dance Crew, played Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez in VH1’s CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story, and was most recently the lead actress in a movie called ‘When love kills; The Falicia Blakely story’. But it hasn’t always been a smooth ride…
GUTS & GLORY
Meet Viktoriya Isakova (41), a stunningly beautiful Russian actress who is not afraid to get down and dirty for her brave performances. Her film credits include ‘Tochka’ (2006), a movie about human trafficking and prostitution and ‘Mirrors’ (2013), in which she plays the tragic Marina Tsvetaeva, one of the greatest Russian poets of the 20th century. I talked to the winner of many (international) awards about ageing, lingerie, and the need to always stay true to yourself.
Women’s Day 2019
Happy Women’s Day! I am extra excited about this edition, because wow, what a year it’s been for feminism! This is the year that we went global; that we showed up with our money, our bodies, our time and our voices to show the world: this is OUR time!