The worst boob-bloopers on the beach (and my solutions!)
Do you recognize any of these classic bikini #FAILS? Don’t worry! Because my swimwear comes in actual cup sizes -rather than just small, medium, large- I have a very specific solution for each problem (call it bikini-science). You’ve got this!
1. The ‘Quadraboob’
Wow, you’ve got 4 boobs! Oh no wait, it’s 2 boobs, spilling over your cup (straight into your ice cream cone).
Solution: Since your cup literally ‘runneth over’, you should try a bigger cup size. For example, 80E instead of 80D.
2. The ‘High Rider’
The back of your bikini top is riding up. Which is a bummer, especially when you’re riding the waves!
Solution: The problem is that the underbust is too wide. Try a bikini top with a smaller under bust size. For example: 70E instead of 75D.
3. The ‘Side boob’
The wires in the side of your cup are sitting on your boob rather than your rib cage, creating spillage on the sides.
Solution: If the problem is in the underwire, the problem is in the cup; the two are connected. Definitely try a bigger cup size: 85E instead of 85D for example.
4. The ‘Super Drooper’
Oh no! Your boobs look sad and lonely in a bikini top that doesn’t seem to offer any support.
Solution: Check your shoulder straps, you might need to make them tighter. The same goes for your underbust; is it too wide? Then again, the problem might be in the type of cups; for proper support I suggest good quality molded cups. Like the ones I developed for my brand! Just saying…
5. Boobs in space
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s your boobs, ﬂoating in space because the underwire of your bikini top is not touching your ribcage.
Solution: First, the obvious: are your shoulder straps too tight? Loosen them a little to see what happens. Then, bend forward till your boobs fall into the cups, and shake while you hold the underwire firmly (doesn’t that feel good?). Still no luck? Try a bigger cup, for example 70B instead of 70A.
fall|winter 20 preview
In January, I presented my newest FW20 collection during a show full of dance and entertainment in Rotterdam. All my work as a feminist designer is inspired by muses, powerful female icons from past and present. And for FW20, my muse will be crime writer Agatha Christie. A few months from now, you will get to discover the collections, and see how they tell stories like Agatha’s thrilling books do..
Running for your life
Dr. Bram Bakker is a psychiatrist, a writer, a runner and a provocateur. With his many bestselling books and columns – and yes, even his own theatre show – he urges us to think outside the box when it comes to our mental health. Not crazy about popping pills? Bram shared some interesting alternatives with me, from throwing out our phones to running ‘till we puke’.
Peas & peppers instead of pills
General practitioner Tamara de Weijer believes that we would feel a lot better if we hit the produce stand before we visited the pharmacy. “On a massive scale, we have been putting the wrong kind of fuel in our bodies.”
Singles Day – You’ve Got this!
All the single ladies, listen up! With single women rapidly becoming the majority, it is high time to stop feeling singled out. This Singles Day, let’s celebrate our freedom and independence by sharing all those solo milestones that make us go: ‘You’ve got this!’.